Kelsey Sharon on Afghanistan, PTSD and Recovery

Sharon and Fridman discuss why relatives may avoid talking about war and atrocity, and what can be lost when those experiences are not passed down. Sharon describes her family’s connections to the Holodomor and World War II.

They consider Hitler, Stalin, the people who followed them, and how fear, anger and group belonging can shape political movements. They also discuss the weight of comparisons to dictators and the suffering caused by starvation.

The conversation considers how abuse can be normalized when someone grows up without an alternative, and the burden and possibility that come with recognizing suffering. Sharon and Fridman discuss intergenerational trauma, hope, and suffering in North Korea.

Sharon and Fridman compare American, Russian and Canadian military recruiting videos, discussing their different styles and whether recruiting presents military service honestly. Sharon argues that physical and mental readiness and support matter.

Sharon recalls rugby, a serious eyelid injury and her earlier taekwondo training. She explains how her coach’s imprisonment affected her, then describes watching the September 11 attacks as a child in Ontario and writing a poem for a school memorial.

Sharon recounts leaving her small town for college, meeting a World War II veteran on a bus after Remembrance Day, and deciding to enlist. She explains that she wanted a frontline role and chose artillery after being turned down for infantry.

Sharon explains the differences between infantry, armored units and artillery, and describes the M777 howitzer, its ammunition and the GPS-guided Excalibur round. She discusses how artillery missions are selected and the kinds of rounds used.

Sharon describes gun crews, forward observation officers and the sound and physical effects of artillery fire. She recalls being underneath a danger-close artillery mission, feeling fear and excitement, and the complicated emotional response to firing on people who had attacked soldiers.

Sharon describes training with Carl Gustaf and disposable rocket launchers, rifles and grenades. She explains how a grenade works, why she carried grenades outside the wire, and why she taped over their spoons.

Sharon explains how quickly she completed training before deployment and was posted to a French-speaking artillery unit despite having trained in English. She describes learning to lift and load rounds, adapting techniques to her height, operating the gun and the crew’s coordinated firing process.

Sharon describes the multinational base at Kandahar, its amenities and relative sense of safety, then explains how artillery guns were moved by truck or Chinook and how soldiers received information about the area.

Sharon recounts being told on graduation day that she would deploy, and describes the unit’s preparations, physical training and live-fire practice in Texas. She explains how artillery crews received and executed fire missions and notes that repeated concussive blasts may have affected her memory.

Sharon describes the coordination of an artillery crew and the feeling of seeing a round fired and hearing that a target was hit. She explains that the work felt meaningful when it helped the infantry.

Sharon describes further training at Wainwright, including exercises using simulated wounds and opposing forces. She discusses Taliban tactics such as IEDs and suicide bombers, and explains how Canadian combat units knew when their rotations would deploy.

Sharon recalls traveling from Quebec, receiving equipment at an overseas stop and flying to Kandahar. She says the reality of deployment hit during the tactical helicopter flight, and describes rocket alerts at Kandahar before she reached a forward operating base.

Sharon describes the small American-run FOB, its defenses, the Canadian artillery unit and the limits of hearing protection. She recalls seeing patrols and hearing live fire, though her base was not attacked while she was there, and describes the surrounding landscape.

Sharon recounts searching homes with British forces, giving sweets to a girl and taking her photograph. The girl’s reaction to seeing the picture and her mother’s gesture stay with Sharon. Fridman connects the moment to the experience of discovering unfamiliar freedoms and comforts.

Sharon recalls a noose left as a joke at the FOB and reflects on why she no longer shares the image. She and Fridman discuss dark humor as a way to acknowledge and cope with suffering.

After a brief intermission, Sharon begins recounting an operation with British forces. She describes her role searching women and children, the position of the soldiers and the moment an IED exploded, while explaining that she was moved between units and did not know the full operational plan.

Sharon explains how the blast affected her and why handling human remains made certain foods difficult afterward. She describes the IED and other improvised devices, including pressure plates and devices assembled from discarded materials, and the fear of treating ordinary surroundings as possible threats.

Sharon describes the radio traffic, incoming mortar fire and her efforts to help an injured soldier. She recalls finding a boot and remains, collecting what the team could, and carrying equipment and body parts while they moved under fire.

Sharon recalls the return to the compound, the sudden quiet after the helicopters left and the physical reminders that still affect her. She describes learning years later that more of the soldier’s remains were recovered, and reflects on how the death shaped her memories.

Sharon describes returning to the Canadians changed by the operation, with intense anger and hatred. She discusses losing sight of the humanity of people she considered the enemy, and how the Taliban’s use of civilians complicates the distinction between combatants and civilians.

Sharon and Fridman discuss how violence can fuel further hostility and consider education as another way to help. Sharon describes literacy work for girls and argues that military action, when necessary, should be accompanied by more effort to educate.

Sharon criticizes the Canadian government’s response to the Afghanistan withdrawal and describes helping a family leave the country. She raises concerns about Afghan visa holders left behind and veterans’ support, including her own hearing-loss claim, while discussing political accountability.

Sharon says she cannot answer for the whole campaign but identifies inadequate preparation, limited cultural understanding and a lack of mental-health training. She criticizes the withdrawal’s execution and recounts the efforts of individuals who helped her family’s case.

Sharon explains a collaboration with the design company Good Fucking Design Advice and reads the message on a mug made for Brass in Unity. She connects its emphasis on helping and lifting others to her recovery and the company’s purpose.

Sharon contrasts her energetic, sports-focused childhood with the anger she felt after her coach’s imprisonment. She talks about the strain this caused with her mother, her parents’ support and how their relationship has changed.

Sharon discusses being medicated after the operation, repeatedly giving statements to investigators and being isolated from the soldiers who had shared the experience. She argues that the military needs better preparation and support for processing traumatic events.

Sharon explains why service members may hide distress if they fear being removed from deployment. She advocates training that helps people recover after being pushed to their limits, including meditation, yoga, peer support and reassurance that seeking help will not automatically end their military careers.

Sharon describes symptoms she associates with PTSD, including insomnia, anger, avoidance and triggers, and mentions a later diagnosis of major depressive disorder. She recalls persistent suicidal thoughts and the self-blame and sense of being a burden that accompanied them.

Sharon recounts leaving the military, the role her partner played in keeping her alive and the long process of trying treatments and gradually leaving home. She describes medication side effects, a difficult return to school and the effort required to keep going while depressed.

Sharon and Fridman discuss differences in how people experience happiness and the importance of noticing when someone is struggling. Sharon recommends asking a follow-up question rather than accepting a brief reassurance, and shares examples of small, caring interactions.

Sharon describes her use of cannabis alongside medical guidance and how she came off pharmaceutical medication. She recounts how art therapy led her to make jewelry, how Brass in Unity developed, and how the company adapted during the pandemic before she connected with Heroic Hearts.

Sharon explains how she joined a Heroic Hearts program and describes the preparation and first night of ceremony, including feeling nauseated and vomiting. She says the group’s welcome and respect mattered to her and describes the setting and support around the experience.

Sharon describes the retreat’s journals, group discussions and integration support. She recounts seeing her first baby during the ceremony, feeling relief and writing messages about slowing down, breathing and being present.

Sharon describes visions during the second night, including being turned into a wolf, and the interpretation she took from them: she could lead without constantly fighting or pushing. She talks about the physical experience and the message to be more mindful of people around her.

Sharon recalls nearly missing the final ceremony because of a false-positive COVID test. She describes her central takeaway: her current situation was not the end, recovery would take hard work, and continuing in the right direction mattered.

Sharon says her husband helped her feel worthy of living until she could feel that herself. She recounts how they met, stayed in touch through her deployment and built a relationship while she was struggling with numbness, anger and trauma.

Sharon explains that Brass in Unity aims to build community, connect civilians with the experiences of veterans and first responders, and direct product profits to organizations doing support work. She says the jewelry and sunglasses can also start conversations.

Sharon describes Heroic Hearts’ peer-supported mental-health programs and names other organizations, including Theracil, Honor House, All Secure Foundation and Children of Fallen Patriots. She explains their work in treatment, accommodation, family support and education, and why she focuses her donations.

Sharon and Fridman discuss how trauma can affect partners, children and family life. Sharon argues that earlier support and effective tools could prevent some of the consequences veterans and their families face.

Sharon advises listeners to change work that makes them miserable, move their bodies, pay attention to what they consume and make time for meaningful activity. She emphasizes effort, balance, family and close relationships over status or money.

Sharon reflects on her changing beliefs about death and says she hopes to have lived in a way she can be proud of. She discusses suicide, the limits of outward success as a measure of happiness, and ends by thanking Fridman for the conversation.

Fridman thanks listeners, acknowledges the podcast’s sponsors and closes with a quotation attributed to Herbert Hoover.